Why I offer Counseling Work
Written by: Stephen Higgins
Over the years of practicing Chinese medicine, I’ve moved more and more into the realm of psychotherapy practice, too. I often hear the question “why did you start doing counseling in addition to Chinese medicine?” Here are some of my thoughts on why I offer counseling work.
The most fulfilling parts of my career have been when I’ve landed in a role of helping others. From selling supplements at the local natural foods store in high school to becoming a psychotherapist over the past several years, I’ve always valued being able to bring healing into the world.
I do counseling because I believe in the human spirit, with all its inherent healing power.
As one of my early Hakomi teachers said, “We are always looking for the next self-relevant experience:” that is, our systems are always wanting to grow, hoping to blossom, and longing to achieve greater integration and more beautiful complexity. I do counseling work because I believe that people ultimately want to be the best versions of themselves—and that they can achieve their own becoming especially when they’ve got quality support for doing their inner work.
Change is tough for humans. We all resist it at times because familiarity is so safe feeling. But we also crave what’s next for us, and it’s a simple fact of our nature as warm-blooded creatures that we’re more likely to take the risk of growing when we feel safe, we feel well held, and we feel like we’re not alone in our experiences. As one of my favorite authors puts it:
“A safe and trusting relationship is the core of psychotherapy precisely because it provides the emotional support and regulation necessary to counterbalance the emotional and biological stressors of change.” ~Louis Cozolino, Psychotherapist
Through my counseling work, I offer clients a sturdy, lovingly-supportive container in which they can uncover and integrate important, and previously-unknown parts of themselves. I do counseling because we’ve all got automatic, unconscious parts of ourselves, and through counseling work, I get to help people discover conscious, preferred ways of being instead.
I believe that having a strong therapeutic alliance is often a necessary part of our inner work, and getting to offer this kind of relationship to folks is deeply meaningful to me.
I help people uncover authentic ways of being with themselves and others—and I love it!
I honor that it takes time to create enough safety and a sturdy enough relationship in order to begin to profitably mine the core of ourselves; and I believe that it’s absolutely essential to have respect for and to build trust with the protective aspects of a person —those parts of a person that have “gotten them this far!”— before digging deeper. I value long term relationships in psychotherapy because—as my own therapist said to me 8-or-so years into our process when we’d gotten to something new and juicy that we’d never uncovered before— “there’s something powerful in staying.” And so, I typically don’t offer short-term, “solution-focused” therapy. Rather, I tend to offer deep, long term work with my clients. What’s really cool about this kind of re-orientation to the work is that “finding solutions” and “symptom resolution” are often a natural outgrowth of the deep work we do together. By focusing on the person and not “the problem” in the work that we do, we’re able to find solutions in kinder and more complete ways —in ways that respect your dignity and autonomy.
“Accumulating a long history with someone, really knowing them and finding a way to continue loving them despite whatever comes your way that might make it difficult for you… there’s enormous growth and beauty in that.” ~Orna Guralnik, Psychoanalyst & therapist star of “Couples Therapy”
I practice somatic psychotherapy because it includes big respect for all aspects of our being—body, mind, and spirit. I practice mindfulness-based, somatic psychotherapy because I believe that any growth process goes better with the addition of a bit of non judgemental slowing down and careful attention—and because I believe that we can learn and change and develop more fully when we include the wisdom that our bodies hold. Since “the body may remember what the mind cannot,” it's often unbelievably helpful to folks’ personal growth when I can assist them in listening more closely to their bodies.
I also practice somatic psychotherapy because it helps to keep my clients and me grounded in the present moment. And because being grounded in the present moment with another person helps to keep neuroplasticity in place—the possibility for therapy to actually make changes in the mind and the brain—it’s often more effective for folks than talk therapy that’s “just cognitive.”
“The body places us in the here and now where change happens.” ~Marilyn Morgan, Hakomi Therapist & Trainer
Frankly, I also practice somatic psychotherapy because… it’s fun! I mean, how cool is it that I get to help others earn their own calm instead of anxiety, aliveness instead of depression, and regulation instead of trauma... all while committed to staying curious and loving enough to be equally surprised by clients’ hidden gems?!
Interested in meeting me to see if we’re a good fit for pursuing a counseling relationship?
References:
Jon Eisman. META Institute Comprehensive Training, 2016.
Cozolino, L. (2021). The Development of a Therapist. W. W. Norton & Company. (p. 18)
Dr. Orna Guralnik: from Showtime’s series “Couple’s Therapy”
Morgan, M. (2015). The Central Role of the Body in Hakomi Psychotherapy, Chapter 4 in Hakomi Mindfulness-Centered Somatic Psychotherapy. Ed. Weiss, et al. (pages 35&36).